The Naruto Expressions
by Lotus Aia
Summary: A series of expressions, adages, idioisms, and oneliners that fit the personalities of our Hidden Village crew! A short and fun read.
1. Vol1

_These are a series of expressions, adages, and one-liners I deemed a graceful fit to our Hidden Village crew! Basically, just picture the character saying them and enjoy the humorous effect. It's a short read, so no harm done!_

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_That Naruto Expressions Vol. 2_

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**Sasuke**

"God's busy, how may I help you?"

"Your village called, they want their idiot back."

Puts the F - U in FUN

"I upped my standards, now up yours!"

"Gee, let me find a container for my joy."

**_NEW!_** My life is one of those, "you had to be there" jokes.

**Naruto**

Got Ramen?

When life gives you lemons… go buy Ramen.

Bad spellers of the world UNTIE!

WTF?

**_NEW!_** "It seemed like a good idea at the time..."

**_NEW!_** I'll be more mature if you will.

**Sakura**

Love, true love…

"You're village called, they want their slut back."

**_NEW!_** "I didn't say it was your fault, I said I'm going to blame you."

**Kakashi**

"I'm not here."

"I see stupid people."

There are several reasons for porn,

And one has just entered my head;

If a man cannot read it while living,

How the hell can he read it when dead?

**_NEW!_** Comfort the disturbed, disturb the comfortable.

**_NEW!_** "Sarcasm... just one more service I offer."

**_NEW!_** "If my head were really up my ass, then how can you explain my _great hair_?"

**Iruka**

"Sit down, shut up, and buckle your seat belt."

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

**_NEW!_** "Why don't you slip into something nice, like unconsciousness?"

**_NEW!_** "You're child may be an honor student, but you're an idiot."

**_NEW!_** "I tried to tie down my troubles, but the little brats learned a new jutsu!"

**_NEW!_** "I don't just enjoy guilt trips, I run the agency!"

**Shikamaru**

Why do something today that you can put off till tomorrow?

R&R

**_NEW!_** Boldly going nowhere.

**Kiba**

It's a dog eat dog world. And Akamaru has already crapped your pooch out.

"Bravo, you're stupid. Have a treat."

**_NEW!_** Dog is my copilot.

**Gaara**

"What the hell do you mean, 'Sands of Time', I am the f-ing sands."

**Lee**

"'THE BIRDS AND THE BEES' HAS A DOUBLE MEANING?"

**Itachi _NEW!_**

**_NEW! _**"I'm busy, you're ugly, have a nice day." - submitted by _KIKYOU AND HOJO SUCKS_

**_NEW!_** Runs with scissors

**_NEW!_** Chaos, panic, fear... my work is done here.

**Genma _NEW!_**

**_NEW!_** "There was a sensative poet inside me, but I kicked his ass and put a bandana on his head."

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_If you have any one-liners, adages, idioisms, expressions, that you think would match ANY Naruto character (Genma and Raidoh, anyone?) Leave a review or email me and tell me them! I will put it in Series 2 and credit your name to your expression! And be sure to tell me the name of the character you think should be saying it. XD Who I need: Genma, Raidoh, Tsunade, Shizune, Itachi... etc... there are lots I could use. And Orochimaru. He's got to have some good ones._

_-Aia_


	2. Vol2

_I take no credit for this chapter, because an ever faithful Purple Ajah submitted them all… like… forever ago, and I just got around to editing and posting it. Gomen, Ajah. I took a reaaaally long time in posting this._

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**ITACHI**

Loved by some, hated by many, envied by most, yet wanted by plenty!

So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

"I have a mind like a steel trap; it is rusty and illegal in 47 states"

"You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!"

"I'll kill you until you die!"

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open

sewer and die"

"Excuse me... have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it."

"Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental."

"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I

win or lose."

**IRUKA**

"Don't get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it makes you

walk funny."

"None of us are virgins, life has screwed us all."

**KIBA**

All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets

"The more I get to know people the more I like dogs"

**NARA**

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking

Consciousness- that annoying time between naps

"Two Rules For Success:

1) Never tell people everything you know."

**NARUTO**

A good essay is 10 inspiration, 15 perspiration, and 75

Desperation

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried pushing forward through a door marked 'pull'.

**ORO**

I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.

"I'm going to live life or die trying"

"I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to!"

You'll die, but don't worry, you'll live through it.

"The devil came to me last night and asked what I wanted in exchange

for my soul. I still can't believe I said pizza. Friggin' cravings."

**KAKASHI**

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Everyone in life has a purpose, even if its to serve as a BAD EXAMPLE.

"It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility"!

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by."

"When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."

**TSUNADE**

Those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Now fix it.

**NEJI**

"The power to believe in yourself, is the power to change fate."

"The good news is that you may have created my past and screwed up my present but you have no control over my future."

**SAI **

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

It takes 42 muscels to smile, so instead pick up your middle finger and

say bite me in a bitchy tone!

"Even If It Kills Me, I'm Gonna Smile."

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This chapter brought to you entirely by Purple Ajah, posting in Lotus Aia's _The Naruto Adages._

Maybe I will put some in next chapter. And a few reviewers left suggestions, so those will be in the next post for sure.


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